


Goodbye and I Love You

by TheonSugden



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Food mentions, Gen, Mentions of Death, set after 6.14
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 11:46:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6373516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheonSugden/pseuds/TheonSugden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While out on the run with Heath, Tara sees Denise one last time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye and I Love You

Tara wanted to blame her lack of sleep on Heath’s snoring, but she’d put up with worse from Abraham and still conked out for 4, 5 hours. The best she’d had since the apartment, since she’d stayed up most nights with Dad to let Meghan and Lilly rest…

Of course she wasn’t supposed to be asleep anyway, but Heath had suggested - in that way you do when you don’t really know someone well enough yet to say, “Hey listen to me dumbass” the way you do to your friends (the ones who are still alive) - that they both needed to be alert on the drive back. He didn’t add that he was worried about Alexandria being overrun again, or that Alexandria’s bad luck streak would mean they’d arrive to find the town overrun by razor blade-wielding _Adventure Time_ cosplayers, but at this point, Tara wouldn’t be surprised by anything.

So she’d agreed, through the fistful of surprisingly-not-stale cheese puffs, and they’d stopped off to snooze.

She wasn’t sure what was keeping her awake. The intro of “Bohemian Rhapsody” banged around in her head as she remembered that she’d just killed a man, but that, surprisingly, wasn’t it - she’d blocked most of that out because she couldn’t afford to wig out and make everything all about her traumas. She wasn’t really afraid of dying - OK, that was a lie, she was scared, but she’d made peace with that too, the way you sorta have to after a wild Eugene is the only one who saves you from certain death.

She realized, as she put her baggy hoodie sleeve to her nose and still smelled Denise’s oatmeal, that she was scared because now she had a reason to live.

 She’d never wanted one - she’d been fine with chilling and having a noble sacrifice for her friends - but then she’d found Denise. Denise had been such a…kick in the ass, but in a good way. After she’d lost Alisha, the most she’d hoped for or even really imagined was a few hours of quasi-sober who-cares-we’re-all-dead-anyway passion, and the truth was she’d spent most of her time too damn tired, hungry, and for a while, comatose to even have that basic itch to scratch.

But Denise - Denise was so sweet, and smart, and dorky, and _hot,_ and only when Tara could see, which was even hotter. Most of all, Denise made her feel settled, safe. She needed that. She needed that a lot more than she’d ever admitted to herself. 

Beyond her friends - her family now, in all the ways that counted - Denise was the reason she’d pulled that trigger, the reason she’d do it again and again if she had to.

She knew Denise would want her to sleep, so that was enough to finally try.

It was somewhere between 20 and 200 minutes later that she felt a hand on her arm.

“He…” she started, before seeing him asleep nearby.

She blinked a few more times and saw the body attached to the hand.

“Denise.”

“Hey,” Denise said, soft…a little scared.

“You here to surprise me?” Tara teased, smiling through a yawn. “Wanna get frisky before Heath wakes up?”

Denise didn’t say anything, just held her arm tighter. 

Tara tried to reach to touch her, but she couldn’t, for some reason. She could barely see her - it was more like she felt her presence, like she’d dropped some weird acid, but not the bad kind, the Hallmark movie kind. 

“Everytime I said it, people laughed at me,” Denise started. “My parents…my first crush…my first girlfriend.”

Tara felt Denise crying, and somehow, managed to hug her, smooth her beautiful, messy dark blonde hair, even though she was sure she never moved. 

“Dennis - he didn’t laugh, but he told me never to say it again. That it was weak and stupid and if I said it people would just use it against me.”

Dennis was her brother. Denise said she’d never told anyone else about him. She’d talked and laughed and cried, about his girlfriends and bar fights, the weird birthday presents he always gave her, and the day she’d had to identify his body. Tara had cried too, not even realizing it until she’d felt the warmth on her cheeks. That was when she knew she loved Denise.

They’d talked all night, sun coming up as Tara had told her about Lily and Meghan, every embarrassing story, every good day and bad day, got it all out before she started forgetting. Denise had written it down somewhere for her. She’d have to ask her where when she got back. When she got back…

“I need to tell you this, and I need you to remember. I know you will, but just maybe write it down. There’s so much I need to tell you and I can’t. I want to but I can’t…”

Tara wanted to tease her, make her laugh, tickle her the way she secretly liked to be tickled, but she knew. She knew something was wrong. She knew she’d forget and have to be told again, she knew she couldn’t face this right now, she knew she had to face it, she knew…

“I love you, Tara. I’m sorry I was scared to tell you. I’m not scared anymore. I love you. I love you.”

Tara smiled, even through her tears, because this made her happy - hearing it would always make her happy, even with the pain.

“Don’t overdo it,” Tara joked, wishing Denise could laugh for her, maybe snort and blush from embarrassment. 

“I love you,” Denise said, for what Tara knew would be the last time. 

“And I love you,” Tara said, leaning up to kiss her, kiss her without ever seeing her, but feeling, and knowing. Knowing and remembering.

“I’ll remember,” she told Denise, told herself, before she closed her eyes, let herself sleep. 

She knew it would be her last night of sleep for a very long time. 


End file.
